Self-control or Self-mastery (እራስን መግዛት ወይስ እራስን መቆጣጠር)
Self-control without self-awareness (discerning the thought patterns) is an up-hill battle managing one emotions, habits and behaviors etc. On the other hand, learning to think right (by analyzing, evaluating and reconstructing one thinking patterns and change it by a conscious act of will) would set one to self-mastery (እራስን መግዛት), which surpasses self-control (እራስን መቆጣጠር). While self-control tends to consequences like emotions, habits and behaviors etc. self-mastery tends to the cause of the consequences, which has the ultimate power to change the mindset by pinpointing the internal thought processes that guide the emotions, habits, and behaviors etc.
A mindset hinges on assuming any discomfort of life as a threat will deter us from examining the situation at hand calmly ; missing out on a wisdom that life has to offer. A wisdom of personal knowledge in embracing challenges of life as they are; redirect the fear rather than opposing fear. In turn this will help our sense of fear to align with our sense of safely to work for us instead of against us.
Winning or Losing . . .
Not to sound too philosophical, but perceiving winning or losing as the two end-sides of a stick that it's a necessary and an inevitable way of life and also nature runs and expands in contrasts might alleviate the unnecessarily negative emotion of losing as well as the big-head syndrome of winning. Things work well in balance.
Being mad at someone and throwing tantrum?
And we think it was all the other person’ fault (poor husband, wife or your partner whatever you call that significant other); always think this.
How come that someone has that much power to ruffle my feathers without my permission?
In a sense nothing gets to you unless you allowed it.
No, you didn’t hear me say - to leave that someone, but to change your pattern of thinking.
Find your happiness inside of you, a reservoir of all goodness' instead of chasing your happiness somewhere else, which you don’t have any control what so ever.